Who are your tribe?
Updated: Mar 3, 2019
Birds of a feather, flock together
Have you ever heard the saying, “you are the culmination of the five people you hang around the most?” I have heard this said in some form or another by nearly every major entrepreneur and successful person I have heard interviewed or talked to in person. So what does this mean? Basically it relates to how we pick up things from those people whom we spend most of our time with, things like mannerisms, language and even beliefs. Think about that person who you just start dating. They are amazing and you’re a little infatuated by them. Then all of a sudden you notice yourself starting to say something they usually say, a catch phrase or something. I know I did this, I had this amazing man I was seeing who used to say, “oh my lord,” whenever something funny happened. Then I started saying it and now I say it all the time and I don’t even see him anymore! What’s more is that now I notice some of my friends saying it! Swearing is another one I notice that spreads like wildfire. I used to swear all the time (coz I’m an Aussie, it’s in my blood haha) and it’s a habit I definitely don’t like. Now, my mum is the sweetest little lady, so motherly and loving. She’s got Italian blood so picture a loving, round Italian lady who smiles and loves children. Now picture her saying, “fuck this and fuck that.” Bit of a juxtaposition right?! Well she started picking that up when my swearing got really bad. We were connecting really well and I was spending a lot of time with Mum. Then all of a sudden by sweet mother, who had told me all my life to, “watch my language,” was the worst potty-mouth I know! Now these examples are fairly harmless and if anything they are a little funny. But what happens when the habits you are picking up from others don’t serve you, or worse, are actually holding you back.
Your parents know that you pick up habits, language and beliefs from those you hang around with, they know this instinctively. That’s why they say stuff like, “I don’t like you hanging out with that kid!” When “that kid” seems to be a trouble maker. Your parents know that if you hang around that person long enough you will start to act like them. This is important because who you associate yourself with is very likely who you will begin to mirror. We mirror people because subconsciously when you act and speak like those around you, then you are more likely to be accepted in the group. This goes back thousands of years when it was integral for your survival to be accepted within your tribe. So if the people you hang around with have qualities you don’t like then beware, the more you spend time with them the more your SUBCONSCIOUS picks up their little behaviours.
It’s an important distinction, it’s your subconscious that does this, not your conscious. That’s why you hear people say, “I will never be like my mother/father,” and then they do something or say something and their friend says, “oh my god, you’re exactly like your mother/father!” And you have a mini breakdown and have to have a donut and recover as you wonder how the hell that happened! Who you hang around with is who you will likely become like. This is why hanging around people who inspire you is a fabulous way to transform yourself!
If the people you surround yourself with have qualities or successes in their life that you are aiming for, then you will automatically start absorbing their behaviors and beliefs that allowed them to achieve those things and this make it more likely that you will achieve those things also! I have an outstanding group of people I surround myself with. I call them my tribe. I have carefully selected the best human beings on the planet to focus on, to be around, to talk to, to learn from, to listen to, to have fun with. I CONSCIOUSLY looked at these people and saw them and how they behave. I listened to the language they use and the perspective they have on life. I selected those who will support my values, which are fun, freedom, health and connection. They not only support me to maintain my values consistently in my life, they also inspire me to grow and achieve things I had never thought possible. They did this organically. When I saw them achieve in their business I was there listening and learning on how they did this. When they found and nurtured loving relationships, I was there learning how to do this better too. When they invested financially and found financial abundance, I was there learning how they did this. On and on the list of benefits I was so blessed to be given, simply by my surrounding myself with these wonderful people. In return, I provided them an example of how to infuse more fun into life, how to embody health and reduce stress, how to enjoy the moment and live in a state of conscious mindfulness and joy. It’s an equal exchange, each party providing something amazing and beneficial to the other so that all can grow and expand.
So who are the people you have chosen to surround yourself with? Are they the embodiment of the qualities, behaviors and beliefs that you feel you want for yourself so you can be the best version of yourself? If not then what beliefs are you holding onto that are limiting your ability to have this tribe that you deserve? Maybe you think to yourself, “you can’t choose your family,” or, “I have to work with these people.” There are many excuses our mind will come up with to try and convince you that you can’t have the tribe that you want. They are just limiting beliefs from your subconscious, I had them once also. Just be gentle with yourself. I found it easier to play the, “what if,” game at first. What if I can choose my family? What if I made a new connection with a woman that was as strong as a sisters bond? What if I could find an Uncle that can support me and love me and give me the protecting, loving masculine energy that I need in my life? What if I could find connections with men that were like my brothers? Then I watched the Universe bring these people into my life. I have three beautiful sisters (only one of them is biologically connected to me), I have three brothers and I have an Uncle. These bonds are magically strong and these people are my CHOSEN family. I have been blessed to have been gifted with an amazing mother, whom I love with all my heart and a wonderful father who has supported me and protected me throughout my life. However, I always wanted to have a big family, which I am now so blessed to say that I have achieved. So don’t let your mind create excuses, anything is possible.
I wanted Tony Robbins to be one of my mentors, he’s the magnificent American speaker who inspires millions of people around the world. Well I don’t know Tony! But it was a, “what if Tony could be my mentor anyway?” The Universe found a way! All of a sudden I was going to his UPW seminar across the other side of the country and a year later I was gifted a ticket from the Universe to go to his Business Mastery seminar, which was worth over $6000! You just got to have faith and know that the Universe has your back! Just get out of your own way and have fun with life! It’s also an example of how your tribe don’t necessarily have to even be in your physical life. Heck, they don’t even need to be in your country in order to have a profound and uplifting influence on your life!
So start by visualizing what your new tribe look like. Who are they? How do they make you feel? How do you make them feel? What kind of person are you when you’re around these people? Just play and enjoy the imaginary world and soon enough you shall see this begin to manifest into your physical experience.
I hope I have encouraged some of you to build a powerful tribe that will uplift, inspire and assist you to reach your desired outcomes. As always, I love each and everyone of you.
Master Energy Guide - PT for your Soul