I hope I don’t motivate you
Updated: Mar 3, 2019
I hear that term all the time, “motivation.” I used to think it was a good term, and I guess it still is in some respects, however I now know there’s something much more effective and sustainable than motivation. And that’s inspiration! A lot of people use these two works synonymously and yet they could not be more different! Well actually, they probably could be more different- I mean supercalafradulisticexpialodocious is more different. Anyway, they are NOT the same thing and when we use them synonymously we actually may end up missing out on some fabulous tricks to make reaching our desired outcomes harder than they need to be.
So what’s the difference? Well, if I tell you, “if you eat cake you will get fat and develop diabetes!” Does that stop you eating the cake? Maybe, however it’s probably not going to stop you for long. It’s a scare tactic and bullying your body and mind into anything doesn’t feel good and secondly is not effective in reaching sustainable desired outcomes long term. Think about all the examples we have of this- smoking adds, they even put horrible pictures plastered all over the box and people smoke happily while looking at them! How many times have you told your children to do something and threatened them with a horrible consequence if they don’t listen and turn around and they haven’t done anything you asked! Are they not afraid?! And you know they are not stupid, they say and do the most ingenious things that make you speechless at times. So why doesn’t this work?!
Think about a really important goal you wanted to achieve but never seemed able to get. I will use an example of mine from my past. I wanted to lose 10 kgs. I’m sure many can relate. I got fatter and fatter and it made me feel uncomfortable in my own body. I struggled to breathe, my cloths didn’t fit right, I began to feel self conscious and my fitness stamina was abysmal. And then one day I bent over and split my $300 skirt and I declared, “ENOUGH!” I had had it and I was not going to stand for it anymore. I laid in bed that evening with the resolve to move mountains. I was not going to eat any more shit, I was going to drink more water and I was going to exercise everyday! I went to sleep feeling powerfully motivated. And that’s just the problem. I was motivated for change. I wanted something different so that I never experienced those awful feelings of frustration, disappointment, shame, embarrassment etc. In the morning I got up and probably lasted until the first real test, someone brought in a cake to work. It was my favorite and before long I was right back into finding all the excuses that got me to where I was in regards to my weight. I’ll start tomorrow, I don’t have time, today was really exhausting, the list can be as long as you want it to be. I’m sure we all have our own examples.
Motivation may light that fire on your ass but it is made of petrol. It’s a quick ignite, a big flame and then a fast fizzle. Fear will not drive you long term! This is because fear works on the adrenal system and increases your stress response in your body. When you are stressed you are telling the body that you are in danger! It must then put resources and fuel into your muscles to get away from that danger- fight or flight. It takes that fuel from things like your creative part of your brain, your digestion, your immune system. You basically become a dumb caveman for a moment, which is super useful in short bursts to actually save your life. However, it’s very damaging to the body when you are in a chronic state of stress. What’s more is that when you are forcing your adrenals to squeeze out all your juices for the purpose of motivation, you run out of stores quickly. It’s like doing a marathon but preparing for a sprint. That’s just bad planning. It’s also why a lot of your goals and intentions may not actually end up working out long term, even after to achieved a shot term success. You end up gaining back that weight or spending that savings or ending that relationship. It’s not that you aren’t talented enough, or don’t have the knowledge, in fact you are probably more than prepared to achieve your goal theoretically, you just got to get the mental part sorted. Tony Robbins, one of the worlds leading mindfulness coaches, says that it’s never a lack of resources that cause people to fail, but a lack of resourcefulness. There are literally thousands of examples of exceptional people who have risen to a state of mastery in their field and have risen from circumstances much, much worse than the average person who would be reading this. They didn’t have anything available to them that you do not have, all they did differently is have a clear focused obsession with where they want to go and WHY they want it.
Ah, here we come to the secret of success. Inspiration, a drive to achieve that is unwavering, exciting, passionate and addictive. It makes you feel good! When you want to lose weight and you think about not looking shit, or not getting a disease, all these things make you feel crap. That sucks out your energy as soon as you think it! The only way it works is if you think thoughts that are so awful that they spark fear within you and thus a shot of adrenaline to “motivate” you into action. And as we discovered, this can only be used short term before we exhausted ourselves into illness or distress. If you were to, instead, think of why you want to lose weight in a way that made you feel good, then we are really working with fire! I want to feel stunning every time I walk out that door, I want to show my little girl what a real woman can look like, I want to have freedom to dance and play all day with an abundance of energy, I want to make my partner so turned on he can’t help but take me every time he locks eyes on me! Whatever will vibe you up- THAT is your inspiration. It’s why thousands of women hang that wedding dress up and focus on how stunning they want to look walking down that isle! Inspiration works better, more consistent and is easier to maintain long term than motivation. Harness the power of inspiration and get your goals out of your head and into reality! Stop using fear to drive you, you are worth more than that. Make inspiration your tool, your vision your addiction and your “most amazing you” your obsession!
So I hope I don’t motivate you, because I only want to inspire. You have the power to change your life simply by changing how you think about your goals. Go get ‘em you beautiful champions, go set the world on fire!
As always, I’m sending you all love and I hope you can achieve those goals you are working towards in an easy and fun way.
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